Thursday, June 30, 2011

Episode #17

In a desperate attempt to unify his family one last time the professor has enlisted the help of someone schooled in the intricacies of computer programming and procedural etiquette: some mob guy. Things start looking up when they find out he can ride a horse. Yes, these are the complicated skills set necessary to free a sentient program from it’s virtual world. The end goal has also changed as it turns out that the virtual daughter of the professor and his wife has become a witch. The parents explain that the virtual daughter is just reliving memories of her favourite childhood book: ‘dragon fighters of Cobol’. My favourite childhood book was probably something by Bill Peet, Robert Munsch or Dr. Zeuss. Is this a good time to start a conversation about poor parenting or is this implicit in the intro I gave? But no time for that, we have a finale to set the stage for…
The Adama brothers have been found out! Just like the [shift + 1] command on my computer!! As he tries to kill the Adama he keeps mentioning that ‘it’s nothing personal’. I beg to differ. I would consider it a ‘personal’ act if my life were threatened – something which definitely infringes on my personhood. Unfortunately the hit man they send out is not as tough as the live-in grandmother in the Adama household. She also knows enough about the customs of getting ‘whacked’ (I believe the adjective is ‘whacking’ in the parlance) to prevent immediate vengeance.
Meanwhile the nun, using a similarly subtle technique, has decided that the sensitive nature of her betrayal by the professor’s wife requires a little B & E. As it turns out, the quintillions of 0’s and 1’s moving through a DSL line can easily be interrupted and controlled with an electrode. If you’re keeping track, that would be technical college:1, university engineering:0. The professor and his wife, being too distracted by dealing with their virtual child, don’t notice the break-in, this works well enough for the would-be intruders as their Faberge-egg intricate plan requires that not a single thing go wrong. Indeed, a lot can be learned from this and applied in life: shoot high and don’t plan for contingencies. As it stands, only the former can fit on a bumper sticker. Hijinx continue as the criminal savants attempt to break-in. . . uh-oh, one of them’s one fire, what will they do next. Checking the books around a robot? What could happen? . . . and then it does.
Seventeen episodes into the series and I think I’m coming to terms with blogging. It’s nice that it’s a one-way medium in the sense that nobody can point out the hypocrisies of calling a television show selfish from the unanswered viewpoint of one person. In the meantime, I’m on the home stretch: one more episode remains.

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